A Tangier to Marseille Tale: Ryanair, Rants, and the Death of Travel Etiquette

Another trip means another list of things to be annoyed about when traveling. I really wish I didn’t feel inclined to air all the proverbial dirty laundry, but honestly, if people would start behaving with civility while flying, maybe I wouldn’t have to. 

In no particular order, here are the highlights of another Ryanair-inspired trip out of Tangier and this time to Marseilles, France.

1. While sitting in a cocktail bar, enjoying an adult beverage, it was a bit strange to watch the local football team, one of the top-ranked teams in Ligue 1, have trash thrown out onto their field in France’s second-largest stadium. But that’s exactly what it was: some ticket holders wanted to protest the ownership, so they burned their tickets, napkins, and whatever else they could find. The wind did the rest, and the players played on a field littered with trash. I especially loved watching corner kicks on what might pass for a playground field, as shown by all those ticket stubs.

​Maybe there was a better way to get your point across, like not going to the game. Don’t buy the tickets, buy food or memorabilia, but sure, burning stuff and potentially hurting the players seems like a good way to get ownership’s attention.

2. Still watching the game, this was a first. I got to watch not one but two players spit on the floor in the hallway leading to their locker room. From my vantage point, this wasn’t a tiled surface, and someone was going to have to clean up this lack of cleanliness. I can’t say that I have ever seen this in any sporting setting, but maybe I have lived a sheltered life. Well played, Marseille players. Maybe you deserved the trash on your field after all.

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3. While waiting for the customs line to move more than an inch, I watched a burly, bearded man and his lady friend (maybe his wife) decide to cut the line. I suppose waiting another five to ten minutes wasn’t going to work out in their favour with their Barcelona flight about to depart. Sure, I’ve seen people late for flights, but I've never seen anyone make a scene as this guy did. After some choice words to the attendant, a shouting match ensued. Yep, an actual one where everyone in the line focused our attention on this entitled schmuck who wouldn’t back down. He yelled, yelled some more, and then another attendant came over to remove him from the scene. From what I gathered, he saw another guy jump the line and decided they could as well, since their flight was boarding at that exact moment. That’s where things took an even greater spiral, with the couple escorted around to one of the holding rooms, where more shouting and yelling ensued. Personally, I liked that it wasn’t until several minutes had passed that a police officer even checked in on them. Then again, it was clear they wouldn’t make their flight and would instead get a one-way ticket out of the airport. Note to self, be on time and don’t be an a-hole. 

4. On flights to Morocco, the constant back-and-forth of people in the aisles never seems to amaze me. Whether it’s to check on loved ones, figure out where they placed their knapsacks (because God forbid those bags go under the seats), or simply to elbow me in the head, I might need to give up the aisle seat and take my chances in the middle for future flights. Getting off was a nightmare as well, but we can let that settle for a day or two before we share those comments.

5. The random enforcement of the carry-on bag policy at the airport is inspirational. I’m not even sure this is worth explaining; you know what I’m talking about without needing any more words. To help those who don’t... Hmm, will that bag fit in the carrier, or is that bag too big? Oh, wait, that woman seems to have a purse, several duty-free bags in tow, so let’s not stop her, but the guy with the gym size dufflebag, let’s hose him instead.

6. What is it with fountains but not drinking fountains in Aix-en-Provence? The city of a thousand fountains didn’t appear to have any free, public drinking water for this proud American to fill up his bottle. Instead, Aix wanted to drive us into their mediocre, overpriced coffee shops. 

This is also true about the public restrooms. Save the bus stop near the Police Hotel (I know, cool, huh), there were no public bathrooms, let alone public bathrooms we could use after a small charge. Like the water situation, visitors were forced to use establishments with customer-only bathroom signs. The only place that seemed okay for helping visitors obtain relief was the seminary I found myself exploring.

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7. Unlike Spain, which seems afraid to have its churches open during any reasonable time of day, save on Sundays, the churches in Aix-en-Provence were not only open on Friday but also throughout the weekend. All told, in a city of around 150,000 people, I managed to get into seven different Catholic churches.

8. While the Churches in France were open to visitors, at least two parks were locked during the day. Granted, you could get in through one entrance, but unless you had a physical key, there would be no other way to access or use the city’s green space, let alone leave. That was weirder for me than trash on the football field.

9. People walk and then just stop on the streets of Aix for no reason. Even worse, some don’t even see you and will walk straight through you. This happened on multiple occasions with this Yankee using some choice words to figure out why he was now a ghost in this southern French city. Whether it was on the streets, at the markets, or even on sidewalks, I’ve never seen anything like this. Even on a walking trail, some bastard, too caught up in himself, hugged the fence line and, in turn, practically hit me, who was trying to take a photo. I didn’t realize we only live in your world, buddy.

10. Brasseries are great places to get warm, decent meals at a moderate price. More importantly, they are often open for longer hours and, unlike the bulk of fine dining in Aix, aren’t just opening up at 7 or 8 at night. 

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11. What is the deal with hotels offering an 18-euro breakfast that includes cereal, some croissants, and coffee? Clearly, consumers are willing to pay for this convenience as opposed to walking across the street and buying the same meal at the bakery, or if you are me, at the grocery store for half the price. 

12. Aix-en-Provence has a lovely cemetery where one can find the final resting spot for Paul Cezanne. You can also walk across the street to a bona fide amusement park as well. I’m not sure what is cooler or better for helping families heal.
 
13. Finally, I hear hiking can be amazing in Aix. Just be ready for unhelpful signs, and my favorite, no updates on what’s opened or closed. Yeah, that three-hour round-trip hike to the cliffs would have been a tad different had the cliffs actually been open. Well-played area.

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