Emotional Spending - Introduction

The new book on my financial journey is out. The joys of publishing a new book means getting the links correct and making sure that the digital and print versions are ready to go. With that noted, they should be at this point. Fingers crossed.

I thought it would be nice to include a preview chapter for those inclined to the topic. Here's the introduction from Emotional Spending - My story to a debt free life. ​

                            Introduction
Many people struggle to overcome debt. More often than not, debt is not only a symptom of a problem more prominent than a financial one, but a more significant issue. Until you can look closer at what got you into this mess, the life you imagined for yourself and your loved ones is a glimmer of the dreams you once shared. 

In this book, I want to direct the conversation mainly to my fellow Millennials and Generation X, those children of the 70s, 80s, and early 90s who were left to their own devices as our parents worked during the day and often would be out and about several nights a week for their entertainment. We have a common understanding and a shared perspective, and those experiences are what I draw from.

Growing up in an affluent community, I experienced it firsthand. In my case, I was always more focused on living the life I had when I was a child. I wanted the same type of house, a similar neighborhood and area, with dinners out and vacations to Florida, Martha’s Vineyard, and overseas. Cars were never my thing, but they would be part of the package, including a cottage on a lake; you name it, and this was part of the plan. 

Many of us want, at the very least, what we had when we were younger, if it was a good upbringing. For those of us who didn’t have these things, we consumed enough media from movies and music to aspire to be that generation of people who deserve a particular life, and in many ways, without the amount of effort needed to reach that means.

However, our parents afforded this lifestyle, the reality of our formative years left us unaware of the actual cost. Once you are on your own and reality hits, the actual cost of owning and maintaining that lifestyle comes to the front. 

Early in my twenties, I learned I could live a moderate lifestyle and maintain some of these wants, but having them all without assistance was impossible. There was always the mindset that my ship would come in. I was told that the universe would provide the difference if you bought more of one thing. There was never a time that I doubted that money would take care of itself.

I don't know if that’s the delusion of youth, but the audacity to believe that my screenplays or books would do the trick, with no dues paid or network in place, gave pretenses to the real world. 

The mighty credit card saved the day, creating the illusion of wealth when I didn’t have it, and the slippery slope I would follow and deal with in the years to come. There were points at which I could have adjusted the track I traveled and prevented further harm, but timing is everything, as is experience.

This book is intended to give hope to those looking for motivation or a means to get out of debt for good. There is no better teacher than personal experience; save learning from someone else who has been in your shoes, done stupid things, and lived to find a way forward.  

My financial journey is typical of my generation: cars, personal loans, house payments, credit cards, and everything else in between, while navigating relationships, fights over money, and what that entailed in the long run. I’ve lived it all, and want to share my story with you and what I learned.

The idea of financial freedom and what that meant was vital to each step along this path. I found a purpose in focusing on those debts and creating a budget that eventually eradicated all that drama.

It can be done.

Anything can be accomplished when you set your mind to that goal, but as I will show you, I found that realistic expectations during and after this debt-free journey are vital to living a full life. Some people will jump in and focus so much on their debts that they miss out on the little joys of each success. More importantly, they won’t come up for air long enough to bask in the sun and be present in daily living.

Sure, it’s easier to be focused for a time and to play later. Still, some of you, like me, don't have that luxury when there is so much debt that the journey will last over five years, especially if you are doing this alone in a single-income household and don’t have a career that quickly generates six figures or more a year.

Granted, that doesn’t mean people who make that amount have an easier road. Far from it, these people likely have more debts, more out-of-control habits, and are more prone to live paycheck to paycheck, even if they make double or triple the amount I take in as a teacher. And yet, we are all the same.

We do stupid things with money, but with some effort and focus, we can take control of the situation, come out ahead, and live a full life. 

The following pages contain different topics and stories based on my experiences and those around me. This is meant to be a judgment-free zone. It’s a glorified story hour that lets you know you aren't alone. 

Whether we focus on credit cards, car payments, student loans, timeshares, buying a house, or simply vices, there’s a topic for anyone on this financial journey to freedom. Beyond those topics, we will explore the importance of understanding your relationship with money and your partner if you have a significant other. 

We will continue with an example of an actual budget that many, I know, don’t follow. I’ve been there. I get it, but there’s no reason why after reading this book, you don’t at the very least, start a budget and find out where your money is going. It’s your choice, but I like the power of knowing what money is coming in and, more importantly, what money is going out.

Finally, I’ll tell the entire story of my debt-free journey. When I was at my lowest, those calls on Dave Ramsey’s radio show of people sharing their stories on overcoming their debts gave me hope and purpose. I trust sharing each step along the way, might do the same for you.

To that end, we will conclude with lessons learned, a sense of purpose and direction, or at least some food for thought about your financial journey and legacy. 

We are all at different stages with our money and how we use it to reach our goals. We live, we learn, we grow. In this case, I hope you don’t make the same mistakes I did and get some nuggets on improving your overall situation.

Best of luck on your financial future. 

Jonathan Kuiper 

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