Flying with Ryanair: Seat Swaps, Bare Feet, and a Miracle Arrival

11/19/2025

With the new book in completed draft form, it was time for a reprieve. What would be better than another round on Ryanair to see truly if they can get me on time two trips in a row? I’m pleased to report that, in fact, I did arrive on time, even after it took us thirty additional minutes to board, mainly because the idiots (passengers) couldn’t get to the correct seats and wanted to continue to delay the inevitable.

The Great Seat Swap Saga: When Courtesy Takes a Nosedive

River in Cambridge England, Robinson Crusoe Island

The eventual goal of the trip

While I should focus on the actual destination of Cambridge, let’s continue this diatribe about said idiots. Honestly, I’m continually baffled when I fly and encounter the entitled behavior of some passengers. On the first flight, this guy and his girlfriend were quick to ask the passenger who had paid for the window seat to switch to another window seat three rows up so they could sit together. Truly, the nerve. You can debate this till the cows come home, but if I paid for the window seat and it’s the second row to get off the plane, don’t even bother asking. Also, don’t ask when I know you could have paid extra to sit together.

This schmuck relented even after his girlfriend pleaded to the window guy to change seats. Both even got irate about the entire ordeal, stating it didn’t make sense, as it was a fair trade. For whom is my question? He continued to brood up and down the aisle, debating on who else to ask. He even tried the stewardesses who wanted him to simply sit his tuchus down in the correct seat and be done with it.

But no, he waited for everyone to board and then reluctantly slid into his assigned window seat. More begging ensued as he talked to everyone in his row, hoping someone would let him swap seats. Cue the sobbing in the row behind me, where his girlfriend decided it was time to put on a show. She made sure to be extra dramatic, giving the occasional look to the gentleman who wouldn’t trade seats.

At this point, I thought we were good to go, but dufus somehow got the aisle seat in his row to swap with him. There is no way I’m swapping those seats again if I paid for it and it’s allegedly a three-hour flight. Meanwhile, the rest of the plane is seated, ready to get going, and this guy then gets up to go back to his girlfriend. She’s in tears, hamming it up for the old woman sitting in their aisle seat, pleading to her gentle nature to swap seats so that he can take away the insufferable pain.

For the sake of all of us, the Samaritan agreed to move, and just in time, as the stewardess told the man to return to his seat. They were doing the safety demonstration after all, but he didn’t care. My favorite was the line thrown out, “We can’t leave until everyone is seated.” He unabashedly replied with, “I know.” As though he wasn’t the bloody problem.

Within thirty seconds, the seat swap had occurred. Magically, the tears were washed away, and aside from the chorus of two infants on opposite seats crying out to let us all know that it was time to leave, the fun with this couple was only getting started.

The fasten seat belt sign hadn’t even been turned off when he was already out of his seat, swapping bags, and then paying a quick trip to the old lady who simply wanted to read her Koran and be done with him and his needy partner. No, he insisted, ready to whisper words of his dying appreciations for her generosity and spirit, even offering to compensate her with a tea or coffee if she so desired. It was an absolute pleasure to watch, and even more so, to see his girlfriend move to the aisle without once trembling or shaking over the fear of flying. She even found the ability to give the passenger who wouldn’t relinquish his assigned spot several side eyes, and I believe a sigh or two. Her overcompensating partner was forced to sit between them, because clearly, window seat guy had forever wronged this sweet woman.

Barefoot Bliss and Other In-Flight Atrocities

I wish I could say these two were the best passengers I encountered on this trip, but there clearly was something about this area of the plane. I can’t even make this up that on the return flight, the same seats took up more of my attention. In this case, it was some middle-aged couple who celebrated the fact that no one had taken the middle, thus allowing the wife to slide over to the magical window seat and get some space from her husband.

She was quick to spread her legs and kick up her bare feet into the armrest on the opposing row. No joke. There were her ugly, smelly dogs sprawled out between the seats, ready to tickle whoever decided to sit in that spot. At one point, she retracted her feet and insisted her husband, who was more consumed with watching movies on his phone at full volume, for all of us to hear, give her a proper foot massage.

Since he couldn’t hear anything coming from his phone, but I could, he pushed her feet away and moved to the empty row in front of them. Within a short time, both of them were sprawled out across all three seats, like it was some memorable holiday. I was simply relieved to watch him put his phone away and get the shut-eye he clearly deserved.

Then again, why did they decide it was their right to now claim six seats as opposed to the two they paid for? I considered the same for this other gentleman, who did the same in his row, but unlike those two travelers, he was not concerned about his luck and slept face down with his sock-covered feet dangling in the air.

Maybe I’m just blessed to experience all the joys of flying. With these three debutants enjoying the good life, I was forced to hear the banging of a tablet five rows up, where three kids fought over some game. Their parents didn’t seem to care, as they were smart enough to bring AirPods for personal use, but not entirely on board with doing the same for their kids.

I wanted to ignore the show and get some sleep after my whirlwind trip to England, but between all the commotion and the old woman next to me who wouldn’t leave me alone, it was trying at best. First, she wanted to give me some dates, and I was like, “I’m too young for you, ma’am,” but she insisted, saying it was good for my digestive tract while flying. To be frank, I didn’t want to experiment with this fruit and have some unfortunate episode as the plane descended back to Morocco.

I closed my eyes, hoping she would get the hint, only to stir minutes later after she moved herself to the middle seat. Instead of simply tapping me on the arm, let alone speaking at a voice level higher than a whisper, the old lady stared and waited for me to come to so she could relieve herself in the facilities.

Miracle Landing: Ryanair’s Redemption (Sort Of)

The flight came to a merciful end with the stewardesses alerting the four children that they had to return to their seats as we were still taxing the aircraft. The same message was shared for the tall fellow in the front, who also thought the moment we landed was the cue to stand up and start gathering his things.

On a positive note, both flights were on time, but that’s only because Ryanair adds thirty minutes to their travel time. When the pilot says it’s a two-hour and thirty-minute flight, but the ticket says three hours and ten, you do the math. As the on-time theme played in the background and the email was sent to let me know the same, I disembarked, ready to return to my real life. With only a few weeks until the next adventure, the real questions remain: which Ryanair streak will continue, funny passengers or on-time arrivals? There’s no way this can continue, and one of these has to give.

What do you think? Do you have the same luck when you travel? Are you as blessed? And for those hoping for a travel report, just watch this instead till next time.

Jonny