How to Slow Down in December: Five Lessons for Coping With Holiday Stress, Loss, and Burnout

The Holidays are Here!

If there is one thing I appreciate about this time of year, it has to be that, even though a lot is going on, the approaching quiet of the winter season always puts things in perspective. As I plan for the next few weeks and get caught up on daily living before the chaos of holiday traveling and family bonding takes over, I can’t help but smile. I know that colder temps, shorter days, and evenings at home are on the docket, and whatever trying moments present themselves can be cast aside for better, low-key options. 
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December can be a nightmare for many, especially introverts who are guilted into socializing when they might not be able to, but the month doesn’t have to be a total loss. When the holidays come, we deal with so much stress, but we can also take things as they are and, if necessary, slow down to rest and reflect on the highs and lows of the year. We can hit pause and retreat within, without feeling remorse for putting our needs first. I’ve practiced this mantra for years, not only for self-preservation, but also to recover from the roller coaster that is teaching and life among energy vampires and time voids (here’s looking at you, Chat-GPT), who use up our limited resources.

Knowing this, I wanted to recycle a post I wrote in December 2013 when I was under the impression that a short, simple blog would drive more book sales. We’ll focus on that reality check at a later date, when I’m not cringing at my ego ten plus years ago, thinking only a Patch.com article would do the trick. At the time, Running with Vince was the focal point, and while I negotiated a Saturday half-hour podcast and weekly blogs, the grind of the school year, combined with this drive to push a book about twin brothers navigating grief, was untenable. 

Don’t misunderstand, I’m doing more balancing now with new books, travel vlogs, and weekly blogs for this website, but with more experience and better balance, speaking about grief and how we deal with loss, not only during the holidays but daily, doesn’t drain me the way it did before. Life is fascinating: at some points in our life cycle, we learn to function better, balance, and make sure things work in ways that serve us more productively and true to our beings.

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A lunch out in southern Italy might help you through the season. If you can't catch the plane do something local for yourself instead.

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Five Things to Keep you Sane

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With this understanding, and knowing that the holiday season is now underway, yes, we already knocked out Thanksgiving and are fast approaching Mariah Carey’s favorite holiday of the year. I wanted to share five things my students constantly remind me to follow, especially during this season. Furthermore, when moving forward from loss, these are good things to consider.
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Be patient -  Many of us are in a rush this season between functions, work, and even gatherings with loved ones, so we lose sight of the present moment. There is nothing wrong with slowing down and taking each moment as it comes. There is nothing cliché about this concept; it's just that when we rush through life, we miss the experiences that matter most.


Be kind – How many times have we heard this from our parents when we were little kids playing with others? Better yet, how many times have you been told to be nice to your brother or sister? Siblings aside, this is a season not based on hate but on love and giving. Swearing at others, putting people down, bullying, or, as I saw firsthand this morning, screaming and grunting at your children in a parking lot because they forgot their book bag, is not going to serve any purpose. Be patient and be kind to those around you. Kindness is contagious.

Listen – In Acupuncture school, I remember comparing our ears to our mouths. As you may be aware, we have two ears and one mouth. Therefore, as explained to me, if God wanted us to talk more, the numbers would be reversed, ie, we would have two mouths. That is not the case, so biologically speaking, we are designed to listen first and talk second. How many of you listen? Seriously, though, there is something said for taking a step back to hear what others are saying. We can listen long enough to put our personal agendas aside, and when we do that, you might be amazed at what you learn.


Have fun and laugh  – I am going to combine four and five simply because, from my perspective, they are the same. We can’t go through this season in such a serious state, where we lose sight of the theme of reuniting with family and friends and/or developing new relationships. When you get together with others, it shouldn’t be a gloomy period but one of harmonious activities and bonding. There is nothing wrong with laughing, enjoying the moments, and the company you keep. Especially for those who have experienced loss, part of moving forward is smiling again and laughing.  


To recap, be patient, be kind, listen, have fun, and laugh this holiday season. It will make the time more rewarding and worthwhile. Furthermore, you might find yourself a happier person, and those around you will be happier as well. If you enjoy yourself enough, maybe your New Year’s resolution will be to embrace these concepts in the year ahead. If not, that’s all good too.