Never Quit Writing: The Dream That Sparked The Fox and the Girl

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When Writing Almost Broke Me

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Hard at working writing From West Virginia with Love while living in Florida

Writing is a fickle gig if you ask me. There was a time when I was in my early twenties and I thought for sure the publishing process would be a simple one to navigate and whatever I wrote would strike “box office gold,” for lack of better words. Well, let’s be downright honest and just say that’s not how things played out. Over the last twenty-five years of writing screenplays, novels, and blogs, I have thankfully never quit my day job. Truly, there was only that six-month period after my discharge from the Navy when I did it full-time, to no avail. Suppose you were keen enough to pick up one of my latest books, Emotional Spending: How I Broke Free from Debt and Found Financial Freedom. In that case, you’ll hear indirectly about what I did during those six months following the screenplay fairy thinking a potential Bruce Willis read was going to open up all these doors for me and the giant piggy bank in the sky. 
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We know that’s not how things played out, as I was teaching come August with a substantially smaller wallet, and have been in the classroom ever since. There have been times over the years when I have considered giving up writing. I imagine that other storytellers go through a similar process. Is this something I enjoy doing? Absolutely, but even when I craft a story, I want other people to read and enjoy what I have created. So when eyes don’t find those pages, the ego can be a bit bruised. That’s the truth, and anyone short of Emily Dickinson would agree with that sentiment. 

There was a point in 2016 when I was on the verge of walking away from writing. Having just moved to Florida, I didn’t know how many stories I had left in me. Honestly, I recall having finished My Shenandoah Love the previous summer and Going Home in a six-week process. That was a phenomenal writing period. We’re talking 110,000 words in less than four weeks and then an 80,000-word book in under two. I was feeling it and living that creative dream. 

After a horrendous school year in which my creative energy was zapped by too many bills, debt, and a lack of clarity, I couldn’t find a way forward. In the new apartment in Land O'Lakes, I spent my Saturdays at the library, taking out books and movies, and would check my email on my phone using the free Starbucks Wi-Fi in the mall parking lot. The only television I watched was what was on PBS ― specifically, Doc Martin, a phenomenal series if you have never seen the show before. 

I digress. 

Back to the story, school was about to start, and I mapped out a storyline for What Could’ve Been. This later became From West Virginia with Love. At the time, William Chase Prince was the lead character, and it would take a few years and some tweaking before he would become Chase Jones, a third or fourth cousin to Hannah from My Shenandoah Love. I don’t remember… The vital thing to note is that the first draft was completed in about three and a half weeks, primarily through evening writing sessions and intense weekends. I was pleased with myself, rightfully so, and well, a bit drained. There was more research than I expected, especially having part of the book take place in Crimea, where I was a foreign exchange student years earlier. Again, it’s essential to write about what you know, to make the process easier. That’s what I tell my students.

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A Dream, a Brother, and a Promise

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Several months passed during which I didn’t write anything because it felt more like I had downloaded From West Virginia with Love and needed to read, recharge, and, well, find a way to improve my financial situation. It’s hard to get a book editor if you don’t have any money. As the fall months shifted to winter, I found myself brooding even though I accepted my new teaching position in Italy. And yes, I know you've noticed that I have a memoir about my time living there. I know, fantastic stuff, a segue to everything… I’m playing with you a little bit. 

With the position acquired and knowing where I would be for the next two years, I was able to recenter myself and write A Second Chance. This was a prequel to My Shenandoah Love because Esper is Hannah’s cousin, and the book takes place in the 1990s on Manning Lake. Interestingly, for those who know about Running with Vince and my homage to my twin brother, Stephen, Esper lives on the same lake where the boys, my brother, and I spent our summers growing up. It’s all connected. 

While there is that familiar tie, Esper’s story was an emotional drain for me. I reflected on abusive relationships and what many people go through, especially women, and wanted to bring light to that part of life. I wanted to give hope to those who don’t have it, and use Esper as a vessel to say we all get second chances. I was relieved to finish the story, but God, was I exhausted from it all and ready to say that was the last novel. 

That had to have been February when that happened. A few weeks passed, and it was March when I had a vivid dream. I was in England, of all places, in one of those traditional taxis going through an old, narrow Georgian and Victorian-style street with a canal on our left. Inside the taxi, along for the ride, no less, was my twin brother Stephen. Some of you may be aware that he passed in 2005. Whenever he appears in a dream, I immediately have to hit pause and cherish the interaction, the dialogue, and whatever message he wants to convey. 

This dream was no different. He laughed at me and then poked me in the stomach like the joker he was and said, “Jonny boy, don’t you dare give up writing. Whatever you do. You can take a break from it, but never put it away. That’s not you.” 

I’m sure there were some choice words shared between the two of us on the remaining part of that dream, but what was clear was how his message struck then and resonates now, years later. Even though I was fried, I couldn’t give up storytelling.

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How a Fox Saved My Storytelling

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As synchronistic events play out in my life, more often when I pay attention, yes, that’s a hint to all of you to be more aware of life’s winks coming your way, but it was not even a week after that dream, when an idea hit me about a talking fox and a teenage girl. An initial scene came to me while I was teaching a Geometry class, and instead of focusing entirely on the lesson, I stopped at a good point and asked my students what would have more impact on them: a dog, a bear, or a fox stuck in a hunter’s trap. Of course, I had to play up the different types of traps and what one would be more realistic and dramatic.

Then I added extra, would it make a difference if that dog, bear, or fox was in that trap because it was looking for you? With little effort, the first ideas for Luza, specifically The Fox and the Girl series, were born. 

This is where our story gets funny. I’ll be the first to tell you, I suck at marketing my books. I have been in my share of newspapers and online interviews, but after so many Running with Vince articles, the idea of being the grief-stricken twin who was sharing his brother’s message was exhausting. Compiling that with all these heavier, adult-oriented stories, where people face challenges in their lives and take constructive steps forward to live fuller ones, can be daunting. 

To that end, when I created The Fox and the Girl series, the idea was to target a young audience, specifically tweens, and tie in my love for The Chronicles of Narnia. Or better yet, this was going to be an homage, fan fiction, but my spin. With these different ideas in mind, after I wrote Luza and Riley, I immediately gravitated to a pen name ― Frankie Yandow. There wasn’t even a doubt. I just figured, let’s keep the adult material separate from the kid stuff. 
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To this day, I kick myself for this strategic mistake. It was mind-boggling, and by the time Valo and Lane came out, the third and fourth books in the series, two years later, it was a bone-headed move, one that I didn’t know how to navigate. The books never took off the way I intended, but then that’s true for most independent authors. There were plenty of free downloads, but when your target reader group is dependent on their parents to buy the books, I found myself stuck in a meta hell, because you can’t easily classify your book as both juvenile and young adult. 

Fast forward a few years, around the time of COVID, I changed the series title to Luza after the first book, thinking that might gain traction, and removed Frankie Yandow, staking my name as the author, rightfully so. It was over the last year, not so much about being remiss, but rather the fact that I loved the initial series name, The Fox and the Girl. My series felt lost without its real identity. Come on, the name was catchy, and as for me, I loved the imagery of the little arctic fox and the young teen girl with the long curly black hair, meeting for the first time. With this in mind, and disregarding the algorithm that has shown no love to me, we return to the original series name, featuring new covers and a premise that will allow those who need to discover the series naturally to do so. More importantly, I’m keeping a promise to my twin to keep writing, no matter what happens. 

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