Random Travel Thoughts From England and Wales and Back to Morocco: Ryanair, Sheep, Castles, and Absolute Nonsense

• Sometimes the easiest blogs to write are less about prose and style, and simply jotting down thoughts. With that in mind and the fact that I wrote this on my return plane trip from England in a notebook, here’s what I took from my first out-of-country trip since mid February. 

Note these are in no particular order, as random thoughts should be.

​I really missed Ryanair - the Greyhound of the skies. How it continues to amaze me, my fellow passengers, specifically the parents wearing their earpods or headphones while ignoring the fact that their children are blasting their electronics for the rest of us to enjoy. 
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• If one isn’t wearing athletic clothes and copious amounts of makeup and has at least one arm and one leg tattoo, then, as a woman, one will be the exception in Liverpool. 

• The best time to meet the Beatles is on the docks in the morning. By doing this, one can, hands down, avoid the crowds and, most importantly, the e-bike biker gang.

• The inside of every restaurant and hotel during any British heatwave, i.e., above 70 degrees, goes from a comfort level of okay to absolute suffering. For heaven’s sake, open the windows and get a breeze going. Don’t just wait until service starts when you have all day to get the air flowing.

• Guests at hotels near the docks might feel safer and consider return trips if those hotels actually hired security to patrol the perimeter. I know I didn’t pay to have tents posted around the backside of our nightly adobe, nor would I expect to see anything of the sort. 

• Gallon water jugs should be banned from airports, says the guy who drinks two gallons daily. To the guy who was shocked his clothes were wet, did you even check the cap…

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• If you see a castle, figure out a way to visit. Conwy Castle was worth the price of admission for the views alone.

 

• Two little kids on the train from Liverpool to Llandudno practiced saying their destination’s town name at every stop. Their enthusiasm alone tells me they were right, even if they weren’t. I hope they found the dinosaur they were looking for. 

 

• The Welsh ice cream I had was far better than Mr. Whippy’s or any other Cornish-based creamery. This is the truth. 

 

• What does one drink on an open pier? Easy enough, Coors, when you’re proud to be an American. 

 

• To the two ladies lording over the Alice and Wonderland table with the water views. The “folly” and pretentiousness of getting rid of the pier make as much sense as the two of you sitting at a table meant for children and complaining about a 150-year-old cultural landmark. Best of luck on your next Titanic cruise.

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• If there ever was a tree meant for faeries, this one with the golden flowers has to be it…this will be added to my next book.

• Great Orme hikes, especially along the rocks, with the sheep, should be done in early mornings. Look out for unruly animals and some kicking winds.

• If one ever needs a best friend, look no further than the seagulls who roost along the pier and promenade. Just make sure to give them a French fry or two to cement this new friendship, or you might lose your entire meal. 

• People who feel entitled to adjust another person’s air vent on the plane have a special place in hell. Maybe that seems excessive, but why are you touching another person’s “stuff” and controlling the comfort level on how they fly? If you are cold, wear more clothes next time. Then again, maybe next time in this one instance, you should sit with your wife and kids. 

• The Moroccan-Brit couple who decided to cut the first three rows of our queue through border control, I’m not sure why you didn’t simply use the “important” people lane, or maybe you wanted an audience. May your next trip have people with less grace and patience.

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• Jonny Dough’s remains my favorite pizza place in the United Kingdom. Sure, my sample size is small, but alas, it’s delicious. Till we meet again.

• In one of life’s greatest mysteries, a cyclist with two full water bottles stood at the train stop for twenty minutes and then exited at the first stop. Distance traveled, 1.5 to 2 miles. Baffling.

• Why do I feel like Britain’s smallest house is actually an in-law suite and a scam to make some easy money? At least England’s smallest pub felt worth the visit, with England’s best beer, Peroni, on tap. 

• Silence enjoyed in Llandudno felt earned after months of grinding away in Tangier.

• Carrot cake and Banana bread for three to four pounds was the steal of the entire trip. I won’t share which grocery store had this bargain. Your secret is safe with me.
  
  
• No matter the age, skeeball, arcades, air hockey tables, and Zoltar will always be cool, even if one loses money on that blasted claw machine.

• A man wearing designer Ray-Ban sunglasses on the plane (not prescription) is always dooshy and even more so if the same man is wearing sandals with bright white socks and freely dangling them in the corridor. You and your wife not wearing your seatbelts until asked to are impressive as well. Funny, this was the same guy who skipped the queue… interesting. 

• Why can I order food on the Ryanair app before take off, but am unable to pay for it then? 

• I am unsure what was scarier at the castle: using the rope to ascend the narrow towers or the fact that parents were towing their little kids around in baby carriages, not caring that this was a place for war, not wee babes confined to seats. The cobbles should have been the first giveaway, no handicapped signs, and well, the open gaps between the walls and the 90-foot drops below. 

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